When this baby hits 88 MPH.....

Los Alamos Nuclear Laboratory can't account for 600 pounds of plutonium. Enough plutonium to make dozens of nuclear bombs hasn't been accounted for at the UC-run Los Alamos National Laboratory in New Mexico and may be missing.

Authorities are searching for an eccentric, wild-haired doctor driving a silver DeLorean and his spunky teenage buddy.

Excuse me, have you seen my Nobel Prize somewhere around here?

New study says that creative people get more sex.

Probably due to the believable lies they can think up in order to get laid.

My Porsche is in the shop, so I'm driving this until its fixed.

Hot ASU girls can't be in Playboy with logo

Playboy's annual college girls issue will have to leave the Pac-10 behind now that ASU coeds can no longer use the university logo in nude photos.

This sucks because if you pick up the college issue of Playboy from the past 10 years, at least four out of every ten girls in that issue is from ASU.

You know, I should have gone to ASU instead of PSU. Dammit.

Ignoring useless information aids memory

Filtering out useless information can help people increase their capacity to remember what is really important, researchers say.

Scientists at the University of Oregon have demonstrated that awareness, or visual working memory, does not depend on extra storage space in the brain but on an ability to ignore what is irrelevant.

This must explain why men never remember what women say to them.

Corrupt Politician resigns... after being found guilty.

California congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (republican) resigns amid corruption scandal. He resigned on Monday after pleading guilty to taking $2.4 million in bribes in exchange for help in securing Defense Department contracts.

One down, 534 to go.

Ronald McDonald robbs Wendy's

Ronald MacDonald robbs Wendy's...... and I would have thought it was the Hamburglar.

No, seriously..... click here.

22-year-old Ronald MacDonald of Manchester is charged with theft after the restaurant manager called police to say he found MacDonald and another employee stealing money from the store safe.

Some headlines just write themselves.

Did You Know?

U.S. Border Patrol federal agents have uniforms where the labels inside read: "Made in Mexico."

Full article here.

Mama said knock you out

A 27 year old man snatched a handbag belonging to woman but as he tried to get away he collided with a wall and knocked himself unconscious.

No need to put full article here because you just read it.

I guess you can say he ran face first into Karma.

Can I Borrow Your Pencil?

Home Depot is getting hammered by the public over a dispute with a customer. Michael Panorelli was banished from all Home Depot stores, apparently over a pencil.

The used pencil wasn't even for sale. It was out at a register when he borrowed it and put it in his pocket.

Panorelli was buying $117 worth of wood at Home Depot when his friend handed him a used store pencil to mark the wood. But when he forgot to return it, security came running.

"This (the letter from Home Depot) basically says I have to stay out for a year," said Panorelli.Home Depot confirms Panorelli was handed a letter ordering him to stay away from all Home Depot's for one year punishment for removing goods without paying."They told me the pencil was worth money to the store and I was stealing it and I'm barred from the store because of that pencil," said Panorelli.

Home Depot released this statement:
"The Home Depot contacted Mr. Panorelli, however we have been unable to speak with him directly. We apologize for any inconvenience this matter has caused him. We will not be pursuing any claims against Mr. Panorelli for this incident. We welcome Mr. Panorelli back as a customer in our stores at any time."

For some reason I doubt he’ll be back.

Coolest X-mas Display Ever

This has to be the best holiday light display ever. Ever. Click here.

Clark Griswald surrenders.

And Merry Christmas

Strip-A-Thon

Exotic dancer Racheal Page was thrown through her sunroof in a freak car crash and badly broke her leg.
Doctors told her she would never dance again. She's determined to prove them wrong.

And now, dozens of her fellow exotic dancers in the Edmonton area are planning a "Strip-a-thon" fundraiser to cushion the blow of her total loss of income so she can focus on getting back on her feet.
The fundraiser, being held Nov. 26 at Showgirls in Edmonton, will feature more than 30 exotic dancers over five hours.

The dancers will donate all the cash they get during the Strip-a-thon to a fund for Page.

Men everywhere prepared to give until it hurts.

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking, the greatest physicist of our time and argueably, with Einstein, of all time was to speak in person yesterday at at the Paramount Theatre. But due to health reasons he was not able to appear in person, yet still was able to speak by setting up a Web-based teleconferencing link from a California Bay Area hotel.

He gave a presentation that traced the development of theories on cosmic origins. But what I like best about the man is his sense of humor. After his multimedia presentation people in the audience were allowed to ask questions:

What did he think of "The Simpsons" TV show, which has had Hawking as an animated guest star?
"It's the best thing on American TV."

How high is Hawking's IQ?
The physicist replied that he didn't know. "People who boast about their IQ are losers," he said.

Which late person would he rather meet, Isaac Newton or Marilyn Monroe?
"Marilyn," Hawking said. "Newton seems to have been an unpleasant character."

And my personal favorite:
What did he think of the program to send American astronauts back to the moon?
"Stupid," he answered. "Sending politicians would be much cheaper, because you don't have to bring them back."

He was also asked what his view of the Bush administration's limits on human embryonic stem-cell research: "America will be left behind if it doesn't change policy."

Don't read. Watch TV according to NBC

NBC news honcho ( President Jeff Zucker ) says people pay too much attention to blogs, since people should only get their news from licensed, professional TV anchors chosen for their looks.

“We pay too much attention to blogs,” he said. “It is absurd how much attention they receive.”

Tee hee hee.

All of the above?

Is Jessica Simpson:

A) Startled

B) Smiling but due to the botox can't move her face

C) High

D) Surprised because she just peed herself a little?




Time's up! Put down your pencils and hand in your papers.

Where can I get this stuff?

A new nasal spray aphrodisiac for women that works in minutes may soon hit the market.

Doctors said women who used the drug PT-141 in test studies felt a tingling or throbbing followed by a strong desire to have sex immediately after spraying their noses.

PT-141 is a synthetic version of a sex hormone that works on both men and women, according to a report. (The spray allows the sex drug to work faster.)

"In the case of women, what we're really doing is sensitizing the vaginal tissue so when they get touched or stimulated, they would feel it a little bit more," Dr. Carl Spana said.

I'm going to start wearing this stuff as cologne. And spray it all over my college apartment bedroom.

Commercials make you do things. Terrible things. Horrible things.

NCAA worries alcohol commercials aired during sporting events might encourage America's currently wholesome and sober students to drink.

So if they're worried, why not show any alcohol related commercials at all? Oh yeah, the $6.2-billion basketball television contract with CBS by allowing the network to air beer and other ads might have something to do with it.

A good politician? Heaven forbid!

Finally, a half decent politician. New Jersey considering anti corruption laws that would actually punish politicians for more money then the corruption itself earns them.

State Senator Ellen Karcher is sponsoring a bill that would permit county prosecutors and New Jersey's Attorney General to seek damage fees against corrupt developers and use those fees to help repay the municipalities for the cost of corruption.

The bill would allow prosecutors to pursue monetary damages from developers convicted of bribing public officials in an effort to get approval for developments. Under the measure, developers could be charged with the crime of public corruption during a criminal trial. If convicted, they could face penalties of three times the value of any property involved in the crime, with an extra assessment of up to $500,000, depending on the severity of the crime. If the bill becomes law, fees collected from the corrupt developers would have to be reinvested in the municipality to offset any property tax increases caused by the development.

Karcher points out, "When a public official is convicted of accepting bribes, developers usually get off with a slap on the wrist, and continue to profit on their illicit investment through the property they developed." The senator believes that will come to end if her bill is signed into law.

Bush's Approval Rating Falls Again

George W. Bush's approval rating at 34%. Full article here.

That ties him with Lincoln, in South Carolina, in 1863.

Big Oil Lies, I mean Strikes Again!

Remember last week when CEOs of Exxon, Conoco, Shell and BP testified before Congress that they didn't meet with Cheney's energy task force? They were lying. Good thing they weren't under oath.

Full article here. Summary below.


A White House document shows that executives from big oil companies met with Vice President Cheney's energy task force in 2001 -- something long suspected by environmentalists but denied as recently as last week by industry officials testifying before Congress.

The document, obtained this week by The Washington Post, shows that officials from Exxon Mobil Corp., Conoco (before its merger with Phillips), Shell Oil Co. and BP America Inc. met in the White House complex with the Cheney aides who were developing a national energy policy, parts of which became law and parts of which are still being debated.

Sen. Frank Lautenberg (D-N.J.), who posed the question about the task force, said he will ask the Justice Department today to investigate. "The White House went to great lengths to keep these meetings secret, and now oil executives may be lying to Congress about their role in the Cheney task force," Lautenberg said.

Lea Anne McBride, a spokeswoman for Cheney, declined to comment on the document and said that the courts have upheld "the constitutional right of the president and vice president to obtain information in confidentiality."

The executives were not under oath when they testified, so they are not vulnerable to charges of perjury; committee Democrats had protested the decision by Commerce Chairman Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) not to swear in the executives. But a person can be fined or imprisoned for up to five years for making "any materially false, fictitious or fraudulent statement or representation" to Congress.

To Protect and Bribe... I mean Serve

The videotaped scuffle between narcotics suspect Harold Sykes III and undercover San Bernardino police last year is disturbing in three ways:

1. Officers continued to pummel Sykes after he was subdued.

2. The camera of a witness who recorded the beating was seized.

3. The officers remain on the street 13 months later -- apparently without additional training -- pending discipline.

According to official accounts, on Oct. 5, 2004, police were doing surveillance at a motel known for drug deals when Sykes -- an "extremely muscular," 6-foot-1 ex-con -- drove into the parking lot and knocked on a door.

An officer asked Sykes who he was; Sykes didn't answer and began to walk away.

The officer grabbed his arm, Sykes jerked away, the officer pushed him against the car, Sykes shoved him away and the scuffle was on.

Two officers came to assist, but the 260-pound suspect dragged all three, falling and gashing his head on the car.

Two more officers joined in the fray. By the time Sykes was subdued, he and three officers were smeared with his blood.

An officer noticed a witness in a motel room doorway and saw the man had a camera. The officer asked for ID; he refused.

The officer asked if he'd taken pictures of the scuffle; the man said yes. When he retreated into the room, the officer followed, shoving him on the bed and handcuffing him.

The officer saw a small amount of marijuana and arrested the man for marijuana possession and obstructing an officer, and took the camera as possible evidence of a crime.

Two days later, the witness was told the charges would be dropped and he would get $1,000 if he signed a release giving up the camera and the video.

High School Student Wins Mayoral Seat

In the town of Roland, Iowa, the new mayor hasn't graduated from high school yet.

Sam Juhl, 18, got 48 percent of the vote. He will be sworn in as Roland's mayor in January. Juhl ran unopposed and was the only name on the ballot.

"I think I can give them just a young, more youthful approach to the way things are done," Juhl said.

Juhl said that when he was younger, he would joke about running for mayor. At 18, he decided to go ahead and give it a shot. He said this time, it's no joke.

"So, I was like, 'Dude, you just got elected mayor.' And he was like, 'Nuh-uh.' And I was like, 'Uh-huh.' And he was like, 'Sweet' "

Warm Boobs

Lingerie company Triumph International has developed a heated bra for winter. The invention has special pads filled with an eco-friendly gel that can be easily heated in a microwave or with a hot water bottle.

Now you can really have a hot rack.

Oil Profiteering

The nation's biggest oil companies will defend their combined quarterly profits of more than $30 billion on Wednesday at a Senate hearing where lawmakers are expected to demand why Americans face record heating bills this winter.

It remains unclear whether the hearing will lead to any new energy legislation, or simply be a vehicle for both Republicans and Democrats to assure voters of their concern about high prices.

The Senate is said to be using the "O.J. looking for the real killer" format.

Full article here.

Check is in the mail

In just four short years, President Bush has borrowed more money from foreign governments and banks than the previous 42 presidents combined.

According to the Treasury Department, from 1776-2000, the first 224 years of U.S. history, 42 U.S. presidents borrowed a combined $1.01 trillion from foreign governments and financial institutions, but in the past four years alone, the Bush administration borrowed $1.05 trillion.

Full article here.

Patriot Act strikes again

The Bush Administration has compiled lists on more than 10,000 Americans it considers political enemies and uses those files to wage war on those who disagree with its policies.

The “enemies list” dates back to Bush’s days as governor of Texas and can be accessed by senior administration officials in an instant for use in campaigns to discredit those who speak out against administration policies or acts of the President.

The computerized files include intimate personal details on members of Congress; high-ranking local, state and federal officials; prominent media figures and ordinary citizens who may, at one time or another, spoken out against the President or Administration.

White House insiders tell a disturbing tales of invasion of privacy, abuse of government power and use of expanded authority under the USA Patriot Act to dig into the personal lives of anyone the administration deems an enemy of the state.

Under the powers of the Patriot Act, the FBI can use “national security letters” to gather private and intimate details on American citizens. National security letters, which can be issued by an FBI supervisor without a judge’s review or approval, allows the bureau to sweep up the records of virtually any American citizen, examining their telephone calls, correspondence and financial lives of ordinary Americans.

This country has developed into a pattern of spying on its citizens that has become commonplace since Bush took office.

Full article here.

Bonzaii !!

In Manchester, New Hampshire, a small plane with only the pilot on board crashed into a Wal-Mart Tuesday. The pilot was pulled from the wreckage badly hurt, but there were no reports of injuries on the ground.

This must be the signal that the war against Wal-Mart is entering its kamikaze phase.

Newspaper Circulation Slips 2.6 Percent

Average weekday circulation at U.S. newspapers fell 2.6 percent during the six month-period ending in September in the latest sign of trouble in the newspaper business, an industry group reported Monday.

(The fact that you're reading this here just might be a clue as to why.)

The declines show a years-long trend of falling circulation at daily newspapers as more people, especially young adults, turn to the Internet for news..... and porn.

Going to the gym and going to the bar. Now one in the same.

Research at Oregon State University shows that beer contains a micronutrient that inhibits cancer-causing enzymes.

The compound, xanthohumol, was first isolated by Oregon State 10 years ago and an increasing number of laboratories across the world have begun studying the compound.

The substance comes from the hops plant used to give beer its aroma and flavor.

Most beers made today are low on hops, however, and so don't contain much xanthohumol. But beers such as porter, stout and ales have much higher levels of the compound.

Alrighty then, I'm going out to get healthy!..... and toasted.

Biomechanics of Breasts

Biomechanics in Australia fit some subjects with special bras, and some with diodes, to measure pressure and muscle activity while on a treadmill. To understand how to build a better bra the scientists want to find out how breasts move.

The scientists hope by tracking the movements of breasts, with and without bras, they will be able to design a bra which supports the breast but gives extra support when necessary such as doing exercise.

I just have one question. Do they need any extra help in breast research? Cuz you know, I'm available. I'd dedicate myself fully to this study. Trust me.

We're #1 !!

With deer season approaching, here are the top ten states for auto accidents involving deer:

1. Pennsylvania
2. Michigan
3. Illinois
4. Ohio
5. Georgia
6. Minnesota
7. Virginia
8. Indiana
9. Texas
10. Wisconsin

Enjoy your drive.